“If it wasn’t for KCM, I’d be dead.”

If it wasn’t for KCM, I’d be dead. I loved my partner with everything in me, but many things were very wrong. I believed it was my fault and I continued to give and give hoping it would get better. It didn’t. It got worse.  And during COVID, it got way worse.

Slapping me escalated to punching. Hard hits became pummeling blows that would cause me to fall and my head to hit furniture, door frames, and the floor. I bled from cuts on my neck and shards of broken dishes that pierced my skin. I gasped for breath weeping as I was choked or kicked. I stared down the barrel of a loaded gun and the shine of a drawn knife blade—each, multiple times. My abuser threatened my life, our child’s life and our pet’s life. But, I still felt it was my fault.  And, as a man, I wanted more than anything to “save my family” and honor my marriage vows-no matter what.

After many of the assaults, I would find myself driving – not sure of where to go. One day, I found KCM online and called. They said they would serve men, many other domestic violence centers I called only served women. I came in at a point of crisis and began what was my path to freedom.

As I spoke with the counselors there was no judgment, they wanted to hear what was happening. They knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of violence. Their compassion and tenderness was sooo needed. They helped me see that it wasn’t my fault, that I was worthy of being safe and that our child was worthy of safety too.  They provided clarity about the circumstances and helped me focus on the objective conduct of my abuser. We had to get out and KCM walked with me each step of the way. Without them, I would not have left.

Confronting my abuser in open court was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but multiple team members from KCM were there for me. Each day of the hearings they came, encouraged me, and celebrated with me. They believed not just in my lived experience, but in my ability to be a dad and that I am a good person. They always seemed to have the right nuggets of wisdom when I needed them. I held onto them then and still do.

Now, our child is safe. I am safe. We live peacefully and free from violence. God continues to provide exactly what we need as we heal and grow.  I am forever grateful that the team at KCM was and is a BIG part of that provision. And I know one day, our child will be too.

KCM Crisis Center Client